Overstimulated Mom: Meaning, Coping, and Staying Balanced
Why Do Moms Get Overstimulated?
Mama, have you felt distressed, anxious, panicky, or as if you are entering a state of fight-or-flight? You might be overstimulated. We get overstimulated when one or more of our senses become overloaded with too much sensory input. This is different from when you feel overwhelmed, which you’re likely no stranger to.
Moms are often spread thin with too many things competing for your attention. You might feel exhausted and be unable to focus. It can feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to deal with all the new demands on your life, heaped on top of those you already had. Being overwhelmed can lead to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and can lead to worse symptoms like depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure.
Additionally, being continually overwhelmed can make you more susceptible to feeling overstimulated. While there is some overlap in how these feel, they are different states of being and the tips we suggest to help you cope are unique.
Everything, Everywhere, All at Once
We know you, Mama, you likely have way too much going on at once. You’re a mom first, but you’re also a partner, a housekeeper, possibly an employee, the list never ends. All those daily responsibilities, and you’re taking it head on with nowhere near as much restful sleep as you need. You’re going to be overwhelmed. So, we’re here to help you prepare for this and try not to get overstimulated as well.
Sensory overload happens when your senses are taking in more information about your environment than your brain can process all at once. This causes the brain to enter a panic state, it feels like a crisis and can invoke a fight or flight response.
New moms become overstimulated with all of the new sensations that come with being the parent of a newborn. There is consistent whining and crying, you’ll experience a lot of new smells, and you’ll have near constant physical contact between feeding (breast or bottle!) and rocking your little one to sleep. All of these experiences demand attention from your nervous system, and it’s happening at all hours of the day.
Most people can exist in a chaotic environment and our minds filter out the sensory input that isn’t important to us. It’s why you can’t hear a private conversation in a noisy crowd, but you can hear someone in the crowd when they say your name. As a mother, you never turn your senses off around your child. Your auditory system never gets a break. This tires out your brain’s ability to filter senses, and in turn you become more sensitive to things that you would typically ignore.
Hormone Changes
In tandem with all those sensory stimuli, your body is not making anything easier. Pregnancy temporarily altered your body to accommodate the process of birth, and now it’s working on reversing some of those changes. Much of that process is done through hormones. Every new mom is different, but for some the sudden increase or decrease in levels of hormones can cause discomfort, anxiety, or mood swings. All things we want to avoid.
Estrogen and Progesterone played a big role during your pregnancy. After, however, your body significantly reduces production of these hormones. That sudden decrease can cause unpleasant symptoms in some new moms. These hormones are to blame for:
- hot flashes
- mood swings
- anxiety
- vaginal dryness
They also contribute to the notorious “baby blues”, which are feelings of depression that typically subside about two weeks after birth. If such feelings last longer, we urge you to get in touch with a clinical psychologist or your primary care physician. Take care of yourself, mama, so you can be at your best to take care of your new child.
Cortisol isn’t a necessary hormone for childbirth, rather it is one that is naturally released in a body that is experiencing physical or emotional stress. As you know, childbirth itself is an experience that brings about some major physical and emotional stress. You also know that it just doesn’t end there, because now having to care for a newborn involves its own share of stressful experiences. Your body will be dealing with high levels of Cortisol in the first days and weeks after having your new child. Increased amounts of Cortisol can cause symptoms of anxiety, fatigue, and depression.
It’s not all bad, your body is beautifully purposed to bring life into this world and it will recover. Oxytocin levels increase significantly during pregnancy and remain high for a time afterward. This helps promote bonding with your new child and helps reduce stress and anxiety. Another physiological ally you’re given is prolactin, the hormone that prompts your body to start making breast milk. This hormone can reduce stress and bring you feelings of calm and overall well-being. However, as you wean from breastfeeding, your oxytocin and prolactin levels will reduce and this can cause symptoms of anxiety, irritability, and depression. For most moms, your hormones level out and return to normal within three to six months.
How to Cope With Overstimulation
There is no practice run for motherhood. After endless waiting and postpartum preparations, your baby is finally here and now you have to be a professional mother. Possibly, this is your first time. You need to be the best you can be, and freaking out because you’re overwhelmed, under/over hormoned, and suddenly overstimulated is not an optimal option. Knowing the signs to look for, planning ahead, and finding help are your best means of defense against not being able to hold it all together. Like I know you’ve been able to so far, mama.
Avoid Triggers
There is no single thing that all new moms can do to avoid too much stimulation, each of us is uniquely vulnerable. The key is to be aware of what your body is telling you. Pay attention to your body so you’ll know of any physical indications which suggest you’re struggling with an overload of sensual input. Practice mindfulness to notice if you’re breathing faster, or you can feel your heart beating too fast in your chest, or your stomach is rolling. There are usually signs of an eminent overstimulation, and if you’re able to recognize them early, you may be able to avoid becoming completely overstimulated.
A proactive defense is possible. You can avoid overloading your sensory system with a better understanding of what has the ability to trigger you. Continuous yelling or whining drilling a headache deeper into your skull? It may be time for some deep breathing and earplugs. Light headed and dizzy while breastfeeding? Make some time for self-care and prioritize your sleep. Sudden hypersensitivity to the smells and textures while changing the fifth diaper today? You might want to take a time out in a dark room (I’ve been known to hide in my closet!) with a comforting scent.
Take Time Outs
Explore Resources
Build and take advantage of your village. Building a reliable support network, including support groups, is essential for your emotional and psychological wellbeing. We suggest you seek out a strong community with other mothers that can provide invaluable emotional and social support. There are parenting groups both in person and online. The Matrescence Community was created exactly for this purpose.
Connecting with those facing similar challenges will reinforce that you are not alone. These relationships can offer practical advice and emotional uplift (p.s. We send an email every titled Uplift Monday!). Things that you will need to be the best mom you can without sacrificing yourself to do it. You don’t have to do it alone, mama.
You probably know some veteran mothers and fathers that have overcome the challenges that you’re now facing. They are one resource that is full of advice and wisdom that can help you focus on the joys of the experience rather than the struggles. The same is true of anyone you trust with hands and time. We hope it’s not needed to be said here, but your partner should be taking as much of the burden off of you as possible.
It’s your child, you’re the mother, of course you are the main source of love and care for your new baby. But if someone close to you offers to momentarily shoulder your burden, take it. You deserve it!
Balancing Your Mental Load
Say No
Plan Ahead
We know you’re planning ahead, mama, because you’re here now reading about ways to do just that. Knowing what to look out for and how to alleviate overstimulation is a good start, but there are more ways to be proactive.
Speak to those close to you about what feels overstimulating and let them know how they can help. Perhaps create a signal or code with your partner so they know when you need to take a break. Make a schedule that has planned moments throughout the day where you can get away to that dark, quiet spot and focus on your breathing.
Anything that personally helps you calm down from feelings of distress, anxiety, or panic are things you should have on standby in case you need them. Be it an activity like yoga or a game like Wordle, know what helps you and how to use them. Planning ahead for overstimulation can help avoid it entirely. Do your future self a favor, and remove this one worry from the other countless things moms need to worry about.
Speak With an Expert
Navigating the journey of motherhood as a new mom brings endless joys and challenges. You are bound to be a little overwhelmed and perhaps even overstimulated, but if you’re experiencing other accompanying symptoms it might be best to consult either a clinical or occupational therapist.
It is important to discuss your symptoms with a trusted provider who can help identify your individual contributing factors and to properly screen and assess for any underlying mental or physical health disorders.
You may not have an underlying mental health condition, and experiencing overstimulation is nothing to immediately be concerned about, but it is important to be screened for postpartum mental health disorders and keep a track of symptoms since it can sometimes be present alongside postpartum depression or other perinatal mood disorders. According to research, up to 75% of women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders never receive appropriate treatment. We believe that you should always know where to turn if you’re experiencing a postpartum problem so that you don’t go weeks and months without support.
As part of The Matrescence community, we will help you navigate various resources that exist in your area to help you heal. You’re not alone in this journey, and resources are available to help you navigate this challenging phase. Remember, caring for your mental health is just as important as your physical well-being.
We’re Here For You, Mama
Remember that you’re not alone and to reach out for help as you need it. You’ll find your best path forward, handling emotional and physical changes as they come, we’re sure of it. And if you need reminders to give yourself grace, or someone to validate your feelings, or just someone to rant to, we’re here for you, mama. We built our motherhood community for you, as a safe space to build your digital village while educating yourself about the ups, downs, and inside outs of being a mom.
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Lauren Hays, PMHNP
Lauren was a licensed and trained registered nurse in the NICU and has since made a career shift to focus on mental health. Lauren is now a board certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, focusing on women’s health and wellness. She is a mom of three precious little men who has turned her pain into passion.
