5 Tips to Help Manage mom Holiday Stress
A Mama’s Guide to Balancing Joy, Traditions, and Your Sanity
The holidays are here, and while they’re often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year, for many moms, they come with an overwhelming mental load. Between holiday card prep, gift shopping, and decking the halls with festive decorations, it’s no wonder stress levels can skyrocket. Moms often feel stretched thin, and it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most: enjoying time with loved ones.
Below, we share five actionable tips to help you manage holiday anxiety levels so you can fully experience the joy of the season.
1. Value shift so you don't lose sight of what's important.
Shift your values to prioritize what truly matters and embrace the joyous spirit of the season. Holidays don’t have to be about perfection or keeping up with unrealistic expectations. Your traditions don’t have to be done a certain way. Instead, embrace a value shift that prioritizes connection, joy, and what truly matters to you and your family. That may mean monogrammed matching pajamas. Or hot cocoa while watching the Polar Express. Let go of materialism and the pursuit of status, and concentrate on activities that bring you genuine joy, regardless of how they may appear on social media.
You can also choose holiday festivities that offer mental health benefits and allow you to recharge in the present moment. For instance, you could go for a walk to view the holiday lights, or suggest a group spa day instead of wine night with your friends.
Alternatively, explore new traditions that fulfill your cup and bring you mental well-being. You should get to experience the holiday magic too. Remember, there’s no need to compare or keep up with someone else’s way of celebrating. Make this holiday season about your own happiness and being present in the moment.
2. Choose a theme to avoid burnout and reduce financial stress.
Choose a word or theme to focus on for the holiday. Maybe it’s tradition and you’re going to focus on laying a foundation of holiday traditions for your kiddos to always remember. Maybe it’s generosity and you’re going to focus on giving to others by adopting a family or volunteering at your local shelter and teaching your family the power of giving to others.
Choosing a theme like this does two things:
- streamlines your list so you can focus on what matters most to you and your family
- gives you a built-in reason to say ‘no’ when someone wants you to do something that doesn’t fit your theme
Be sure to align your theme with what you and your family actually enjoy. Reducing your mental load won’t help as much if you’re following traditions that don’t line up with your own values.
Whatever you choose, allow it to guide your holiday decisions, free of expectations from others both online and in your community. Let them focus on other areas if they’d like. Reducing the tasks on our never ending to-do list is key to managing mental health and wellbeing. Prioritize the activities that stick with your theme!
3. Set boundaries! Remember it's ok to say 'No.'
Do the endless gifts and gadgets drive you mad? Do the expectations for a perfect five course meal served piping hot steal the joy from your day? Are you steering away from what matters to you and your partner to meet expectations of others? When you’re trying to make everyone happy, it’s possible no one will be. Setting healthy boundaries allows you to reclaim your time and energy to focus on doing less in a more impactful way.
If the amount of gifts feels out of control, try establishing a three toy limit per child. Or maybe this year you’re going to cater that meal you despise cooking all day or request a potluck. Perhaps you prefer to do Christmas morning at home with your kids and you’re willing to travel on other days or maybe you need to reduce the number of holiday gatherings altogether.
Whatever it may be, protect your sanity by putting healthy, flexible boundaries in place. Nodding yes but wondering how to set those boundaries? Here are our tips for setting boundaries. Just remember it’s perfectly ok to say, ‘no thank you.’
4. Add breathwork to your anxiety arsenal to reduce stress and depression.
“Take a deep breath” can be annoying advice when your stress and anxiety have you on a leash. Instead of going for that early afternoon cocktail to reel it back in, take back the control by learning quick and effective deep breathing exercises. Here are a few breathing techniques to try:
- Box Breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and repeat. This technique is effective in calming the nervous system and reducing overwhelm.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: When you breathe in, tense the muscles of part of your body and when you breathe out, relax them. Work your way through your body.
- Modified Lion’s Breath: Take a moment to step away from the chaos, even if it’s in the in-law’s basement or while hiding in the bathroom during a holiday party. Breathe in through your nose, filling up your diaphragm all the way. Then open your mouth wide and breathe out with a “HA” sound.
Practicing these techniques regularly can prevent stress from escalating. Make breathwork part of your routine. It’s a small but powerful way to improve your mental health and fully experience the holidays.
5. Practice gratitude to promote mindfulness.
When the holiday list feels endless and stress levels are high, gratitude can help you shift perspective. Practicing gratitude daily, even for the smallest joys, can bring you back to the present moment.
Start with a reset. When things feel chaotic, pause and reflect. Remember the magic of the season lies in connection, not perfectionism. Then, focus on what’s good. You’re going to remember these moments with your kids for years to come, whether it’s decorating the tree or watching them stomp through the snow all bundled up.
Building stress resilience through gratitude ensures you enjoy the holidays while protecting your mental health. You’ll find detailed exercises on practicing gratitude in The Matrescence® App.
Don’t forget to delegate and ask for help!
Moms often carry the invisible load of planning and executing every detail of the holidays. From holiday decor decisions to organizing the Elf on the Shelf shenanigans, the tasks pile up quickly.
This year, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Let others take on responsibilities. Balance the division of labor by splitting up events with your spouse, sending them to the store for you, or dropping your little ones off at your in-laws while you get some time to relax. Santa has a team so why shouldn’t you?
don't lose sight of what matters most
By shifting your focus, enforcing boundaries, practicing gratitude, and incorporating self-care, you can manage holiday stress while fully embracing the joy of the season. Whether it’s a quiet evening of Christmas music, matching pajamas on Christmas morning, or an epic holiday movie marathon, the best holiday moments come when you’re able to sit back, relax, and simply enjoy the magic with your family.
So this year, take the time to actually enjoy the holidays. Release the tension, let go of unrealistic expectations, and embrace the traditions that make this time of year special.
For more advice (and a space to vent) download The Matrescence App. And remember, enjoy the season – you deserve it!
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Lauren Hays, PMHNP
Lauren was a licensed and trained registered nurse in the NICU and has since made a career shift to focus on mental health. Lauren is now a board certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, focusing on women’s health and wellness. She is a mom of three precious little men who has turned her pain into passion.
