Feeling Disconnected From Your Husband - Navigate Postpartum Connection
No one warned me I might want to throat-punch my husband at 3 a.m. after the baby came. (Okay, not really—but kinda.) You go into parenthood thinking it’s going to bring you closer, and then suddenly you’re both exhausted, touched out, and silently competing over who’s more tired. Your body doesn’t feel like yours, your nerves are shot, and there’s a tiny human who needs everything from you right now. And somehow, in the middle of it all, your relationship takes a backseat—and you start to wonder when this weird distance between you started growing.
If you’ve been feeling like you’re parenting next to your partner instead of with them, you’re not alone. This post is here to help you understand what’s going on beneath the surface—and give you practical tools to get out of survival mode and find your way back to each other.
Reasons for Feeling Disconnected from Your Husband in the Postpartum Season
If you’re feeling disconnected from your husband after the birth of a new baby, it can feel isolating– but mama, you are not alone! It is important to be open and honest about your mental health and wellbeing as you navigate the various stressors and emotions that might come up. It’s important to note that postpartum depression impacts mental health on both sides of the relationship. Around 10% of new moms and dads experience the condition. The strain of cognitive overload, coupled with shifting roles, can lead to emotional disconnection from your partner.
The postpartum period can be overwhelming. You may feel anxiety or even anger toward your partner. Resentment can grow as you both feel like you’re teetering emotionally due to the new challenges you face.
However, while approximately 20% of relationships experience breakdown within the first year after a baby’s arrival, it’s important to remember that many couples successfully navigate these challenges and you can to. By identifying the root causes of disconnection and seeking appropriate relationship support, partners can rebuild their bond and thrive during this transformative time.

You're Not Alone, But Your Situation Is Unique
You Feel Like They're Ignoring You or They Don't Like You Anymore
How To Reconnect:
You Don't Want to Be Around Them
You’re an overstimulated mom and you feel like your partner is just getting in the way. They’re present every time you breastfeed and they’re always trying to initiate physical touch in the little time you have to yourself. It’s too much. You may even feel some postpartum rage toward your partner, combined with sadness and regret over how you’re acting.
How to Reconnect:
You Both Want to, But Aren't Able to Get Time Together
Only 38% of married mothers with infants say they’re highly satisfied with their relationship compared to 62% of married women who aren’t mamas. That dissatisfaction is often due to new mamas spending less time with their partners, which only becomes more difficult if another baby arrives later. Regular date nights have disappeared, and you both feel like you don’t ever go anywhere, no matter how much you want to.
How to Reconnect:

Tips for Finding Intimacy for When Parenting a Newborn
Communicate
We know we sound like a broken record here, but communication is a powerful tool for rebuilding a connection with your partner. A quick chat about your reasons for feeling the way you do can make you less anxious. Additionally, communication relieves mental pressure by helping you understand and interpret your partner’s actions.
Keep your chats positive and solution-focused. Research shows that mamas and papas feel happier over the long term when they communicate positively while confronting parenting challenges.
Use Therapy
Counseling allows you to talk to a neutral party about your challenges. A psychotherapist or psychologist can help you (and your partner) understand more about each other and why you feel the way you do. If nothing else, your therapy sessions give you a reason to get dressed, even if they take place over a screen instead of in person.
Learn From Others
The relationships around you can help you improve your own. Talk to the people you love, including friends and family, to learn how they approached the disconnection issue. Anybody with children can identify with how you feel powerless in this situation and can help.
Special mention goes to The Matrescence community – we’re all here to help. Our expert professionals provide plenty of advice and you’ll get to chat with mothers who’ve experienced different relationship challenges.

Prioritize Yourself
This may sound counterintuitive, but a little “me time” goes a long way to fixing disconnection. Enjoy a nice long soak in the bath. Or, take a nap. Half an hour spent combating sleep deprivation can do wonders for your ability to regulate your emotions because sleep helps you understand how you’re feeling. These aspects of self-care go both ways. If your partner wants to spend an hour gaming or relaxing around the house, that’s okay too.
Listen to each other’s reasons for needing a break and work together so you can prioritize yourselves.
Do Tasks Together

Give Yourself Some Grace
Pregnancy already sent you on a hormone rollercoaster. The transition into postpartum doesn’t mean your body has stopped changing. Your body physically changed while you carried your child and continues to change once your little one is in the world. As our Postpartum Hormone Timeline illustrates, it can take up to a year for your hormones to stabilize.
Allow yourself the grace and patience you deserve during this period of adjustment. Your body is still going through changes and it’ll take time for you to feel how you once did about your partner.
Find Ways to Balance Your Emotional and Mental Load
Your Intimacy Grew Over Time and It Will Take Time to Rebuild It Again
Think of your postpartum relationship as a marathon, not a sprint. It takes time to rebuild your connection with your partner because you’re both in different places now than you were before. That’s okay – you’re taking the first steps into an exciting new journey together. Make time for yourselves and each other. Communicate constantly. Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help – we all need it sometimes.
Your next step: Check out The Matrescence Navigate Postpartum with Confidence Course. Prepare for the fourth trimester with confidence and rebuild your relationship connection with our help.
